I'm Half way there.........

    I think the cumulative effect of six doses of intravenous chemotherapy is really taking its toll ... everywhere (body and mind). This one really knocked me down hard.

As a matter of fact, I have now met my inner "Chemo-Sobby," ( I stole the chemo-sobby idea from another blog....it's just too cute.) But,  I'm half way there.

     I was able to visit my friends Lisa & Aaron and hold their new baby boy Mannix......I can't tell you how therapeutic that was. I knew if I didn't get over there today....that I wouldn't feel up to it for about a week and a half.  But we made it today....what a sweet little guy he is, so happy to have been able to hold him.

    Some GOOD news:  CT Scan results came back good. There isn't any new cancer growth so far. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

     My Doctor doesn't pull any punches....he tells me this is going to hit me harder and harder as treatment progresses, and so far....he is totally right (thus the chemo-sobbyness) mostly it hits me at night, laying in bed and wondering why I am going through this...wondering about the odds of survival...etc. I don't dwell on it...I know how damaging that can be. But going through a life threatening illness such as this really changes your outlook on life.  I can't do the things I could do before, simple tasks take SO MUCH ENERGY and EFFORT. It's frustrating. Trying to keep my mind busy ,and not over do it physically. Trying to read without falling asleep. I sleep SO much.

   
    Onto some fun:  The ACS' "Look Good Feel Better Seminar" was really fun!!! I was in a room with 8 other women (all diagnosed with cancer). We got nutrition tips, make up kits and hands on demonstrations, we tried on wigs  (I came home with two, see pictures below). How to tie and wear scarves....just a fun time. All of the supplies are donated. The women instructors, donated their time. It is such a wonderful program. What I found very interesting is, out of the 9 of us that were there, me and one other woman were the only ones that did NOT have Breast Cancer.  Just goes to show you how common breast cancer is.

    New side effects this time included:  A funny little itchy rash on the back of my calf. Some bruises, my eyelid muscles feel very weak, its hard to keep them open.  And of course the usual side effects I have had from day one, diarrhea, severe sensitivity to cold, hands feet and tongue tingles, fatigue, nausea, bone and stomach pain...etc.

    Anyway, I realized that a lot of my Facebook posts are "cancer" related and I am really trying to not let my inner chemo-sobby take over and be better about posting other topics, its difficult to do when this Cancer and treatment is consuming my life right now....but I promise to do better.

    I love you all......your support gets me through the dark times. Til next time....as always sending love and light.

Joni