I'm Half way there.........

    I think the cumulative effect of six doses of intravenous chemotherapy is really taking its toll ... everywhere (body and mind). This one really knocked me down hard.

As a matter of fact, I have now met my inner "Chemo-Sobby," ( I stole the chemo-sobby idea from another blog....it's just too cute.) But,  I'm half way there.

     I was able to visit my friends Lisa & Aaron and hold their new baby boy Mannix......I can't tell you how therapeutic that was. I knew if I didn't get over there today....that I wouldn't feel up to it for about a week and a half.  But we made it today....what a sweet little guy he is, so happy to have been able to hold him.

    Some GOOD news:  CT Scan results came back good. There isn't any new cancer growth so far. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

     My Doctor doesn't pull any punches....he tells me this is going to hit me harder and harder as treatment progresses, and so far....he is totally right (thus the chemo-sobbyness) mostly it hits me at night, laying in bed and wondering why I am going through this...wondering about the odds of survival...etc. I don't dwell on it...I know how damaging that can be. But going through a life threatening illness such as this really changes your outlook on life.  I can't do the things I could do before, simple tasks take SO MUCH ENERGY and EFFORT. It's frustrating. Trying to keep my mind busy ,and not over do it physically. Trying to read without falling asleep. I sleep SO much.

   
    Onto some fun:  The ACS' "Look Good Feel Better Seminar" was really fun!!! I was in a room with 8 other women (all diagnosed with cancer). We got nutrition tips, make up kits and hands on demonstrations, we tried on wigs  (I came home with two, see pictures below). How to tie and wear scarves....just a fun time. All of the supplies are donated. The women instructors, donated their time. It is such a wonderful program. What I found very interesting is, out of the 9 of us that were there, me and one other woman were the only ones that did NOT have Breast Cancer.  Just goes to show you how common breast cancer is.

    New side effects this time included:  A funny little itchy rash on the back of my calf. Some bruises, my eyelid muscles feel very weak, its hard to keep them open.  And of course the usual side effects I have had from day one, diarrhea, severe sensitivity to cold, hands feet and tongue tingles, fatigue, nausea, bone and stomach pain...etc.

    Anyway, I realized that a lot of my Facebook posts are "cancer" related and I am really trying to not let my inner chemo-sobby take over and be better about posting other topics, its difficult to do when this Cancer and treatment is consuming my life right now....but I promise to do better.

    I love you all......your support gets me through the dark times. Til next time....as always sending love and light.

Joni

Treatment #5 and Misc.

I'll start out with something positive. .... . LOVE this cooler weather....what a Godsend.

Dealt with yet another insurance nightmare. As you all know, I have a colostomy. I was running low on supplies so I placed and order. After three days of the order in a pending status I called to see what the hold up was. My insurance authorization had expired. REALLY??? They only authorizes three months worth of supplies for something that I will need for at the very least 9 months. I just don't get it.! It's frustrating, to have to make the phone calls back and forth between my Dr. and the supply company. My Dr., of course called me right away and said as soon as they fax the information to him he will authorize it....(thank goodness, he is on the ball). So, I think it is all squared away.

I had treatment number five yesterday. It went well, a little longer than usual, but no blood work hiccups. I am really noticing the fatigue being worse...can hardly keep my eyes open and walking for any length tires me out. Side effects, so far, the extreme sensitivity to cold. My hands and feet have that painful tingley feeling, like when you hand falls asleep and are just waking up.

I'm trying to decide what to do with my hair. The back is looking sort of raggedy... but the front isn't falling out too bad. I was thinking of just coloring it all light blonde like the front of my hair and see how it looks after that..you really aren't supposed to colortreat your hair while undergoing chemotherapy, but I figure "what the hell" if it doesn't work out I will maybe shave it.  Or just start the scarf and hat wearing. I have enrolled in the "Look Good Feel Better" seminar at the local American Cancer Society. It is on July 18th, i'm really looking forward to it. I'll get instructions on scarf tying ideas, wig ideas, makeup application with free products too, should be fun.

My sister Judy is down here for an appointment at UCLA today...I am hoping I will be able to see her tomorrow with Jill when we go to my appoinment with Dr.Dekker. He will have the results for the CT Scan I had done on June 30, 2011. I'm a little nervous about that...hope it shows that the chemotherapy is doing the job and nothing else is growing that shouldn't be.

That's it for today..... I thought I would include a photo of me wearing the portable pump attached to me....just so you get the visual. This is what I wear home after treatment for two days...and then go and have it removed and get my shot of Neulasta. The patch on my chest is the needle contraption that is attached to my Portacath..which is installed under my skin.

As always..sending light and love....
Joni

One Third of the Way through....

Busy, busy day yesterday.  I had a CT Scan scheduled at 1:30pm and had to fast for it, which wasn't too hard cause my stomach felt like yuck!! My sister Jill picked me up at noon and we drove to Valencia, to get my portable pump removed.  Then the shot of Neulasta, this will keep my white blood count up where it should be so I don't run the risk of infection, (not a good thing while going through chemo). Then on to Tower Imaging to drink two large cups of disgustingly gross liquid dye....bleeeegh!!
Waiting while the dye does it's work, we took advantage of the nice weather outside, and sat on a bench in the shade, so Jill could eat her apple. By the time she was done they were ready to take me back.  Down a long hallway, through several doors. The technician was very friendly and pleasant, he is the same technician that did my scan back in Feb. After changing and laying down on the table, he hooks up an IV of a contrasting dye color and then he leaves the room. This dye gives you a very warm sensation, it doesn't hurt really, it just sort of makes you feel like your blood is really really warm. Then the scan starts. The procedure itself doesn't take very long, and the machine is open and airy sort of like going into a giant donut, so glad it wasn't one that is enclosed....I wouldn't do well in that.  I told the tech that my surgeon asked for a CD copy of the scan, (he didn't really ask) just so Jill and I could look at it ...lol.  So, when we got home I put it in my computer, of course I don't really know what normal looks like so we weren't sure what the results were. It was kind of fun to look at though.

Anyway, I was totally wiped out yesterday. Still very tired and sore today. But I have a lot to do this morning....so I better get with it and get it done. Praying constantly that I will not have a severe reaction to the Neulasta.

Thank you all for your support....sending you love and light!~